The Other
by Simon Oosterhuis ︎︎︎Trees zoom past the window of the train compartment. Inside three travellers are seated: a gnome, a hedgehog, and a ghost. The gnome wears a black suit while the hedgehog is dressed like a clown. The ghost is naked. The gnome and the hedgehog cast furtive glances at the body of the ghost, which is milky white and female. She came in last of the three, just before the train left the station. Finally the curiosity of the gnome becomes too much for him. He asks the ghost why she is wearing no clothes and if she would marry him.
‘To answer your second question first,’ says the ghost, ‘the answer is no. And in explaining my rejection of your proposal you will also learn the answer to your first question. When I was young my father, a very strict and god-fearing spook wearing black suits, clothed me in long dresses to protect me from the lust of young and frivolous male ghosts. Yesterday, when I came of age, I lay down my garments and fled my home cellar. I am a free spirit now and the sight of sombre costumes repulses me. So you see, I can never be with you.’
‘That is too bad,’ the gnome responds, ‘for this suit and myself are inseparable. My mother gave it to me on her deathbed and made me promise to wear it always, so she could watch me from her cloud in the heavenly skies and enjoy the formal and reserved appearance it gives me. She herself had to suffer all kinds of frivolity in her youth, being the daughter of a first-class clown. When she left the circus she decided that her son would grow up to be not even remotely funny. I have inherited her contempt for jokers.’
‘But clowns are heroes’, the hedgehog joins in the discussion, ‘once as child I was all alone and lost in the woods when a fox confronted me. It appeared I was trespassing on his property. He explained to me that the penalty for this offence was being served for dinner. But just as the fox lay his paw on my shoulder a loud bang made him jump up and flee. From behind a tree a brave clown appeared, the exploded balloon still in his hands. He took me in and raised me to be just like him.’
As the hedgehog finishes his story the train reaches its destination. After a few polite words the travellers part at the platform and go their own way. The ghost is naked to this very day and running a nudist camping at the seaside. The gnome became an undertaker. He is highly praised by living and dead for his solemn conduct. The hedgehog had the most successful career: his smallness allowed other clowns to throw him about during shows and submerge him completely in pies. Popping balloon animals on his needles was also a highly praised act. All three of them, so completely different from each other, sometimes think back to their conversation on the train and contemplate the mystery that is the Other.